Dear Liam

It has been almost 6 months since we saw you for the first and last time.
Your due date as come and gone and my heart and arms ache to hold you.
You are my sweet little angel baby and I love you very much.
I want to tell you how special you are to me and that although
you were only with us for a very short time your presence
will always be with us. You have made a big change in our lives and you
have a very big place in my heart.
From the day I first knew I was pregnant with you my life
changed forever. I was finally a Mommy. That was a dream I had for a very long
time and you gave me that special gift. The few happy weeks I had before
we knew that things were wrong were so wonderful. I had so many
hopes and dreams. I was imagining holding you for the first time,
holding you to my breast, giving you your first bath, smelling that sweet
baby smell and watching you grow as you learn to walk
and say your first words ; hearing your little feet as they walked
a round the house and your little voice saying Mommy for the first time.
Then when we heard the news that something was wrong
I was devastated but I knew you were a fighter . When we knew how very sick
you were everyone was telling me to abort you but there was no
way I could do that. By now I knew you were our baby boy
and we had named you Liam. As the weeks passed and the doctors
were giving us nothing but bad news about how you were doing ,
I knew that you were not meant to be here with us. Up until then you had
fought so hard to stay with us. I knew your battle was getting to be too
difficult for you and I let you know that if it was all too much for you
then it was ok if you stopped fighting and finally had some peace.
Not long after that was when we heard that your heart had stopped beating .
I was so sad that you were gone but I was happy for you that you had gone
to a better place where you weren’t sick anymore.
The time that your little body came into the world was the most beautiful
moment of my life. There you were my sweet little baby boy; so tiny
and so complete. You were so beautiful and precious. It is a moment
I will never forget. Thank you for giving that to me.
Even though you were only with us for a short time I will always be your Mommy
and you my little boy. I feel honoured and priveledged that you chose me
to be your mother . You will always be a big part of our family and have a very special
place in my heart.
Liam, I love you and miss you very much.
Hugs and kisses
Mommy

Sweet little Liam.

When I think of you it’s getting a little quiet inside of me.
When I talk about you it’s getting pretty quiet around me.
When I am sad it’s your mommy who is hugging me.
And people who don’t understand are being ignored by me.

It’s been almost 6 months ago that you came to this world
and left this world at the same time. I hope you have gone to a better
place, because you were not strong enough to stay on this one.
When you were growing for 11 weeks we heard from the doctor
that something was wrong with you. And for 7 weeks your mommy
and me were thinking much about you and what we should do if you
were very sick.

We thought about ending your short life because bringing a very sick
child to this world is not something we would like to do. The doctor told
us come back every week so that he could look if you still growing
strong, After a couple of weeks the doctor told us that our
baby boy was sick but that you could live normally after a operation.
Mommy and me were very happy to hear that.

We called to the hospital so that the doctor could explain
what was wrong with you. The problem with you was not really
great, but there was something else wrong with you and for
that we had to wait for another 4 weeks. By that time you were big
enough to see how big your problem was. The doctor asked us to come
back around week 17th to see how it was going,
but when the doctor was listening to your heart he heard nothing.
Your heart stopped beating, because you were to sick to keep living.

Our hearts broke and mommy and me cried for a long time.
A day later you were born on october 20th around 5.10 in the morning.
Mommy look at you like only a mommy could do and
daddy was very sad and cried a lot.
After a while daddy took a camera and took a lot of pictures,
because we want to have a memory of our first baby boy.

Liam.......

Daddy misses you every day, and I will never forget you.

I don’t believe in heaven but I know you are somewhere
were you can play with other baby boys and girls.
And who knows....... One day when mommy and daddy are very
old and our heart stops beating we will see you
Again.

Goodbye Liam

Dad xoxoxo